Friday, October 03, 2008

1401 Nights


On 2 December 2004, I was murdered. I am no longer the same person I used to be.

Since then, it's been endless nights without daylight. I kept telling myself it's possibily a nightmare, but each breath I take reinforces the reality. It really happened, and it's the 1401th night since I've been standing at the edge of the abyss of despair.

The air is thin, the wind is cold and I am all alone here. I concluded that happiness is a luxury and emotions are unbearable.

But I was redefined by this scenery. I now realised that it's my opportunity to make a contribution to the humanity, to change it for the better.

I was lost, but now I am finally on the path to the end and the beginning.

20 Comments:

Blogger Liz said...

PJ dear,

I pray the nightmares have stopped, and you have emerged so much stronger into the ray of light…
I wish I could be there to comfort you my friend…
Keep the faith, stay positive & all the best for a smooth happy beginning in your life!

Love,
Liz *-*

3:21 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear 柏仁,

Stay strong - I am always with you.

道子

4:48 AM  
Anonymous Helen said...

PJ you are a fighter. Just by reading your words I could feel your pain. You must have been through a lot. Hang in there. Kisses and hugs for you

5:02 AM  
Anonymous Regina said...

安啦~
我們這邊還好, 颱風有造成一些災情
但是, 還好啦~~~

給你一盞燈, 希望能溫暖你的臉
給你一件大棉被, 希望能溫暖你的身體
給你一杯熱湯, 希望能溫暖你的手
給你一個大熊抱, 希望能溫暖你的心

當我兒子做惡夢的時候
我都會緊緊的抱著他說
小乖乖, 媽媽保護你~~

什麼惡夢啊~ 我也會幫你趕跑它!!

3:26 PM  
Blogger Maria said...

Hey PJ,

Long time no words. I was so glad to see your msg on my Les Mills blog. Don't go there often but once in a while checked and found your warmth.

How are you there? I was shocked by your words since you are a SUN-related person to me; though with Body Combat you'd be strong and... lo... you are, I hope.

Stay there. One day we shall meet in Auckland. I'm really eager to support you whatever you do since I feel like doing that.

Remember the Taiwan power that flows through your Kiwi spine. We'll keep in touch.

Maybe you can ride bicycle - this exercise helps me through a lot of "murders" recently!

Life goes on, PJ!

Maria from Kaohsiung, striving for my new apartment repair (e.g., leaking problem)

8:15 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You know we've got your back :) and you'll always come through no matter how hard the situation is.
Hugs and kisses :D

1:45 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

PJ... PJ, rest if you must but dont you quit, when you do, remember why you held on for so long in the first place...

2 Dec 2004 - PRETERITE... learn to live and love who you are now... =)

Died once, you should treasure your 2nd life more... let your unhappiness ends on the 1401th, stop counting and let it pass... 加油! =)Lindy

4:02 AM  
Blogger PJ said...

Hey Liz, thank you for your message, much appreciated. staying positive is the only option to live the days... I hope you are doing well.. keep in touch

4:18 AM  
Blogger PJ said...

Thanks Michinko.

4:19 AM  
Blogger PJ said...

Thanks for your message Helen, appreciate your thoughts.. :)

4:19 AM  
Blogger PJ said...

Regina, 謝謝你的留言和鼓勵. 有感受到你送的溫暖哦 :) 妳好嗎? 希望你一切安好. 我在遙遠的南半球傳送祝福給你. 對了你有部落格嗎?

4:23 AM  
Blogger PJ said...

Hey Maria, thanks for your encouragements and support. I am good at pretending so no one knows what's going on inside of my head :) But am looking forward to your visit to Auckland, or my trip back to south Taiwan.. which ever comes first! I hope the leaking problems at your apartment have been solved.. keep in touch

4:25 AM  
Blogger PJ said...

anonymous, thanks for your support... always good to know I have good friends standing by me :) thanks again!

4:26 AM  
Blogger PJ said...

Lindy, thanks for your message :) How are you? How's everything at your end? I won't quit and am intending to fight everything till the end. Support from frineds like you make me strong. thanks and keep in touch :)

4:27 AM  
Anonymous Regina said...

有滴!!!
在無名, 我也常到妮可老師的部落格唷
那個呵呵卡卡西就是我
nonparameter

不過沒什麼好看的啦
哈哈哈

2:47 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

haha PJ that pic looks like me after i did my back in : )
Stop being quiet or ill have to come over and get hard core on ya ass(eew sounds a bit gay) but you know what i mean :)
rocket man

12:06 AM  
Blogger PJ said...

Regina! 謝謝你告訴我你的部落格

現在就來去看看 :)

1:04 AM  
Blogger PJ said...

Hey Rocket Man, thanks for your message, you never fail to make me laugh hahahhaa :) how are you doing? hope all is well on your side!

1:05 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

PJ that picture is giving me the creeps now infact it looks like Ella! Lets see you smiling again:D

2:35 PM  
Blogger PJ said...

haha Stu I am sure Ella is much cuter than that :) thanks for your constant support my friend!

2:45 AM  

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